How Do You Accept?

I was taken back today as someone gave me a large gift. I've always struggled with these sort of things. I broke down crying, but obviously not in front them! I was speechless, at a loss for words...slowly and finally making out a small, "tha-tha-thank you." But that one thank you is never enough for a person who doesn't feel worthy...you start bargaining in your head, thinking these thoughts: "I don't really deserve this. Are they really sure they want to give me this? If I ask it might offend them. I don't want them to think that I think I deserve such things or take things for granted...maybe I can offer half of the gift back." All of which leads to another exclaiming of "Thank you" that's just a little more bolder and louder to kill the awkward silence you created.

I briefly tried to find a Psychology article about this panominan. You would think it would be easy to find such an article considering we are a day away from the biggest gift exchange holiday of the year-Christmas.

So I sit here pondering: How do people accept gifts?

Are you like me? Believing your unworthy and don't know how to show your gratitude, so you overcompensate in other ways like 'you better bet I'm 100% going to clean the whole house now because you gave me this gift!' Or something of that nature? Although this is nice of you, your way of "proving your gratitude" could be in a form that the giver never really wanted.

Or how about this, you may not be like me but perhaps you relate more with my sister who on Christmas one year barely opened her gift and knew exactly what it was, squealed at the top of her lungs and bounced up & down ecstatically! I had never seen such authentic joy in my whole life-she was about the age of 6. I'm pretty sure the gift was dollhouse...She was soooo outlandishly happy; her humongous smile lit up the whole room and her jumping made the house shake (we lived in a trailer so it wasn't that hard). Her childlikeness made me question: when was the last time I felt that?

So we have the Feel-Unworthy, Overcompensator Receiver and the Feel-Overjoyed, Wants Achieved, Receiver

There's another way I have observed people recieve gifts in my sort time being alive and that is what I'll call the Feel-Grateful, Praising the Giver, Receiver.

I've observed this from an older lady I've recently met here in SoCal. I haven't given her any physical gift, but I have given her the gift of my time and listening ears. To her this meant the world because she has been a widower for three years and is still grieving the loss of her "sweetheart." We conversed once for three consecutive hours and it was only the second time we chatted! But her expression of gratitude wasn't focussed on the gift (the gift of my time and energy), but rather on me-on the giver. She would thank me, but more often would spend the time saying positive qualities over me.

I think we can see this personality play out not only in this scenario, but perhaps think of a child whose father they haven't seen for an extended amount of time. He returns with some cheap gift (not because they love the child less but because of outstanding reasons) and gives it to his son/daughter. The child isn't going to cling to the gift-although appreciative to have a gift, but rather they will wrap themselves in the giver's arms.

Where would you fall among these three types of receivers? Are you like me? Like my sister? Or perhaps like that older woman?

I think the healthiest state of being would be the last Receiver. This receiver who acknowledges the giver went out of their (no matter how big or small), the receiver doesn't discredit their own worthiness, they receive the gift with gratitude, and thanks the giver properly.

What do you think? Do you agree?

With it being Christmas Eve, as a believer in Jesus, I can not ignore how this can easily transition to how we receive the greatest gift of all-Himself.

Although Jesus wasn't literally born on December 25th, we celebrate His birth. God himself became flesh and dealt among us. John 1 

And He gave His life as a gift Romans 6:23

His gift made us right with the Father 1 Timothy 2:5-6, Romans 8

His gift we can not return (Hebrews 10) , we can not earn (Ephesians 2), and we can not ignore (Hebrews 2).
 
So how do we receive it? How do we receive Him?

Although I have been walking with the Lord since 2005, it is a question I still face today-especially as a Seminary student. How do I receive Him? How much do I receive Him? How do I receive this greatest gift ever given-the son of God, Jesus...who died for my sins and rose again defeating death, making me right with God, giving His righteousness over to me, and who calls me friend????

I don't understand love like that. I don't understand mercy like that. I don't understand giving like that.

How about you? When receiving God's gift do you struggle in finding yourself worthy and so you try to work it off to somehow pay Him back (i.e. having a religious spirit)? Or are you thrilled that you have such a gift, but you ignore the relationship it also brings, thinking you got what you wanted (salvation) and that's good enough? Or are you enamored by the Giver, lost in haze of His glorious love for you and in ALL of who He is?

This Christmas, I encourage you to evaluate how you receive gifts. I encourage you to be honest with yourself as to how you fit in one of these categories: the Feel-Unworthy, Overcompensator Receiver, the Feel-Overjoyed, Wants Achieved Receiver, and/or the Feel-Grateful, Praising Giver Receiver. And lastly, I encourage you to see how that mentality has seeped into how you receive Jesus.