As a Christian I am torn in two, but am finally complete. I am broken down, yet made new. I am full of sorrows and yet unrelenting joy.
As a Christian I am not perfect, all-knowledgeable or more capable to handle things on my own. As a Christian I do not know all of the answers, nor will pretend like I do. As I Christian, I still have trials, ciaos and unexplainable things I must go through.
I am a work in progress, but a saint. I am forgiven, but still sin. I may not always do what I say, but God willing may I change my ways.
As a Christian, I may still cheat, steal & lie. I am human, not alien. I am a foreigner to this land, but I am familiar. I can walk by faith, but sometimes still cry out "I need to see the Light!"
As a Christian I have found peace, conquered defeat & overcome past weakness. As a Christian I stumble, fall and break. As a Christian, I will ask for continual help and will not abuse this thing called "amazing grace."
I follow a straight and narrow, but the wide can still bring its appeal. I am a follower, leader, student and teacher. I can do all things through Christ-I just may not know what that all entails yet. I try my best, I know my heart is what counts.
As a Christian, I face centuries of backlash and legacies of bad reputations. But I stand in the same foundation as those who regardless cried for the "Great I AM." As a Christian, I will restore, rejuvenate & inspire. However, I get weak, tired and lonely. Life doesn't change, my prospective has.
As a Christian I don't always go to church or know the latest Christian-eze. As a Christian I may forget where it says that thing in that one verse in that specific chapter. But I am a worker. I am teachable and may I always be humble, or at least brought to my knees.
As a Christian I long for justice, I am eager for correction & in love with mercy. As a Christian I will be harder on myself than before, as well as those in the same boat. I am not Jesus himself, but His Spirit is in me. I am not the point of your destination, rather a compass pointing the way.
I look to only one star, but I may still have other idols. I pray for God to demolish them. And as a Christian I will let go of what He says needs to be. As a Christian, things and times as such will hurt. As a Christian, I live in security of something greater than in this world.
I do not want to make replicas of me. I want people to see Jesus. I don't want to take the credit, I want Jesus to be glorified. As a Christian I will love as He has loved me; and because He loved me, I will love those who hurt me.
I am not a mat to walked over or a tool to be used. I am to be sharp, but gentle. As a Christian, I will not always live by your standards or desires. I will probably disappoint and aggravate. I may even abuse or neglect you.
As a Christian I will not only ask for forgiveness but reveal it with my actions. I will turn from my errors, but will probably need countless reminders on how. I will change the pathways of my thoughts, capturing them & making them obedient to Christ. As a Christian, I will need to put on armor and fight.
As a Christian, I bear a bigger weight on my shoulders. As a Christian, I share my yoke with His. As a Christian, I know I can make it through this. And, God will walk me through it.
Too many times have I mistaken loneliness as failure. That's what I gathered from the church screen this morning. You see they messed up and said the lesson was over "failures". -It was over "loneliness". I had thought: "OH YES, JUST WHAT I NEED TO HEAR! HOW I SCREWED UP AGAIN & HOW GOD STILL LOVES, LOVES, LOVES ME!" But, nope. The teaching pastor spoke about how our biggest fear is loneliness (based on a survey they had conducted weeks prier). His lesson was centered upon Edenology-the study of the Garden of Eden. More precisely the first 3 chapters of Genesis-the beginning, the Creation. "If you don't know the first three chapters of the Bible, you will eventually have a messed up Theology." he claimed . Why? Because it is in the beginning we see, hear, and know who God is. -Who He REALLY is. One of those characteristics that God has is community. -Father, Son & Holy Spirit. So what does He say to man? "I am not enough." Yup. Genesis 2: 18 God is not enough.
-Some of you are now like, "I knew it!" & others will be like "That's a lie." But it is a Truth. We have a communal God who desires/ has installed the same principle in us. For more of the sermon check out this link: http://www.redrockschurch.com/media/watch-messages/series/55/
This shook me.
because it explaineda deeper part of my failures/the picture behind the picture almost
explained why I continued to fail because I had no community that I opened to as much as I did with God
it assured me that I was not alone/ that what I fail with, is in some regards, something God has installed in me to desire
finally it placed a physical pressure in me to change
Is God really enough for you? Why or why not?
Do you feel guilty or shame that He is not? Why?
Do you believe God will give you what you desire the most? Why or why not?
Is there a deeper problem underneath your failures?
What do you fail with the most?
Why are these labeled "failures"?
Are you seeking God's guidance & healing, as well as from others? Why or why not?
I take for granted these words, "Everyone struggles with that." Because all I hear is "Everyone is doing it, so it okay." As a believer I honestly want to be different and strive for that. But being different does not change all of those desires I once had as a non-follower. And maybe they are not to be changed. Maybe some of those desires are actually a God-installed need.
Is your desire to be known? Maybe under God's right guidance & humility you are to be in the spotlight. Is your desire to design or create? Maybe through God's blessings of talent you are to create marvelous works of art. Is your desire to be bring peace? Perhaps, through God's understanding you are to be that one who promotes it. Is your desire to be held? Perhaps through God's nature will you not only taste & see True love, but also share it with another human being.
Another powerful point the speaker declared was this notion of Christians believing we are to save our deepest, most darkest points of ourselves to God-and God alone. But never does His Word say this. Rather it says "confess to one another your sins." James 5: 16
What are you not being honest about?
What are you hiding about yourself (can be pro & con aspects) from those you love?
Do you believe God wants you to share those secrets? Why or why not?
My friends have jokingly called me a liar. And well, I have given them plenty of reasons to say such an accusation. Except, what "half truths" I have also said eventually turned to be lies. So sadly, I have lied much, much more than I have let on. This lesson challenged me to stop keeping a portion of me between God & myself. Because I have not only heard but seen how keeping a part of me (especially the parts of me that are being tormented) away from those who I know love me like Christ;our relationships begin to deteriorate.
Not have I only built a gap instead of nurturing a healthy bond & unity, I have forsaken some of my God-given, innate desires. For me, it is better building relationships with strangers online then in real life. For me, I perpetuate my unhealthy and irrational fear of men because I participate in impure activities. And that desire to be intimately loved has never left, although I have Jesus. In focusing on my failures and not dealing with my fears I have forgotten some truths. These truths being: I can not do this life alone and sometimes I have to do something that hurts before I want it to get better.
So with that being said. I am selling my computer.
p.s: the pictures really have no sentimental meaning to what I was saying.
Come my King Come rest in me Come my Life Come & sanctify
You are the Holy of holies You are the Everlasting Peace You are my Founder of Faith, Always
Come, this Joy Come & set the day Come & move Come to draw me close
You are my Only Truth You are Provider through & through YOU MAKE A WAY YOU MAKE A WAY, Always Your plans are better than mine I'm close to your heart, never far You call me child & I cry- never will anything else satisfy
(repeat 2x) My King My Life My Peace & My hope
Come & make me see Come and make me clean I am here for you I will serve only you Always, Always
