Petty

Has anyone ever called you petty?

Have you ever called anyone petty?

Like most people, it's easier for me to "dish it out" instead of "taking it." It's easier to point out someone else's pettiness than to look at our own. But if we're going to make the world a better place, we must always begin with as Michael Jackson once sang, "The Man in the Mirror" and not Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down" right? But what if we are both? We might know that one person who's always complaining, but have we ever been the one who's been more "concerned with trivial things than what's important?"

I remember the first time my close friend called me petty..."It's been 84 years" since anyone's seen them now...jk jk 

Call it stubbornness or Hedonism, but I started pondering: What's wrong with being petty? Why is it even called that? What's its history? When did it start and why? 

Did you know that it means something totally different in the military? A Petty Officer in the Navy are comparable to a sergeant in the Army according to Google AI Overview.

From what I gathered from online dictionaries, it doesn't sound like a negative trait to have. Why wouldn't you want someone who cares so much about the little details when everyone else just sees the bigger picture? 

I discussed this with my friend this morning; in trying to come up with an example I had to laugh at how subjective the word even is! The same friend who had called me out for being petty over a work policy situation had taught me that words are descriptive, not prescriptive-they change because they are based on the culture and context. 

Culture and context is always key!

You see I always considered my Mom petty. She'd see that the dishes were dried with the wrong towel and thus, had to be rewashed; she'd see you got a C in P.E (from the P.E teacher being petty about the shirt you wore not being the perfect uniform) when every other class was an A. I hated these traits at the moment, but I hate (love) to say it...I thank her for some of that "pettiness" now. She knew that the wrong dish towel had germs. She knew I could do better. She knew I was smart. 

There is no doubt that I'm a spinning image of my mother regardless of how much I try to run away from it. Sometimes pettiness isn't just making a "mountain out of a mole hill;" it's paying closer attention.

I may be biased... But I think we need more petty people. 

Similar in relationships, I would say boundaries are key. Pick your battles. Examine yourself first, why is this (insert "petty" thing) such a big deal to me? What are the pros and cons to pursuing this conflict? 

Psychology courses have taught me to be less reactive to other's actions and more curious about their brain chemistry shaped by their surroundings. I think we should take this to heart before we call someone "petty." 

So...

• When was the last time you asked the person you call "petty" the reasons behind their actions?

Perhaps there needs to be dialogue instead of demonization, hmm? But where is the line drawn between being facetious and childish?

I had ripped down the "Hairnets & Gloves Are Required" paper sign from the office that faced my station. It had been an on and off again war with staff (me) and other managers (mainly just one of four kitchen managers). He was an ass in my (and others) opinion...But his enforcement had now been picked up by our department's new manager and despite not working with open food, here we were (in my opinion) wasting hairnets & gloves by having to wear them. I took out my frustration by dancing upon the now floor-bound signage only to be tormented by it again a few weeks later. But my mistake was telling my friend only my actions and not what lead up to it. Does that dismiss my actions? I don't think it was a big deal, but it depends who you ask.

My employer wanted to enforce hairnet and gloves rule regardless if we worked with open food all because we worked with vulnerable cliental. Our passive aggressiveness towards one another could have ended, I believe, if we all just sat down and talked it out. 

Before you point out the petty people, look at some of those fingers pointing back at you. Perhaps learning more about their point of view could be exactly what you needed to hear. And maybe, just maybe, you'll thank them for seeing something you hadn't! 

*image taken from Facebook repost