His Voice

Your voice, O God, is right and true,

gracious and pure.

Your voice, O Lord, is beautiful and majestic,

awesome and mighty!

Yeshua, your way is enlightening.

Yeshua, your love is mystifying.

My God, my Savior, I praise you.

Your Spirit reveals the way,

it is full of light.

You show me now the Truth,

and Life.

Your voice, your voice, is like thunder.

Make it louder!

Make it louder!

But who will listen?

Who is wise?

Fools claim wisdom in their own eyes.

But you, Yahweh, are perfect.

And in your grace have given me wisdom-

which begins with fearing your name.

Yahweh.

Your voice is like lightning,

shaking the earth and piercing the hearts of men.

Who can stand?

Your voice beckons,

calms the storm,

comes in a whisper.

Who will listen?

Your Word will stand the test of time.

Yes, Lord, for time is nothing to you.

Your voice is sweet and gentle.

You are humble, Christ.

You are fierce, my King.

Speak, Holy Spirit, speak.

We need your Word.

And this is what He said:

I see you. I know you. I hear you.

Even if I run and hide?

Even if I turn out all the lights?

Even if I think I am alone?

Even when I do the things I do,

say the things I say?

I see you. I know you. I hear you.

What if I packed it all away?

Burned every bridge?

Spit in your face?

What if I break the law?

I curse the day I was born 

and ruin it all?

I see you. I know you. I hear you.

Yes, my God.

Yes, my Author and Finisher.

Yes, my Sustainer and Judge.

My Everything of Worth.

Father.

You saw me when I broke that ceramic.

You saw me when I stole that sucker.

You saw me write that curse word on the door.

You saw me degrade my body with strangers.

I love you. 

You knew me before I was born.

You knew I would not have a father.

You knew I would be neglected, harassed, mistreated.

You knew I would call upon your name on July 2, 2005.

I love you.

You heard me tell that lie.

You heard me say heaven would be boring.

You heard my swearing.

You heard me cry.

I love you.

Maker,

you are profound and intelligent.

Healer,

you are glorious and right.

Abba,

thank you for the Light. 

"My Child, Jealousy Has To Leave."-God

The other day as I spoke to a friend on the phone, I felt my eyes start to well-up and all of a sudden my throat couldn't make out the words. 

"I've been struggling with jealousy," I confessed to her. "I have met this new person and...well...we have a lot in common...I just feel like she is who I could have been."

Who I could have been.

Who I should be.

What I was not.

I had to wipe the tears off my face.

I hadn't realized how big of a thing this was until I finally confessed it.

You see I have recently met this beautiful, young, talented woman who is doing what I would love to be doing. Not only that, but she's humble, gentle, fun, and passionate. As much as I "saw myself in her" (with the similarities being in our stories and charisma) I saw much of her that I was not. 

"If only I hadn't done this or that..." statements began to creep into my mind and heart like venom. "If only...if only...if only..."

I started regretting where I had been, 
                                              the things I have done, 
                                                                        the things I have seen and said.

As time makes my body older and weaker, I am sure I will have more moments like these to face. How joyous! 

The question of, "How many of you have ever felt this way?" doesn't even need to be asked.

Jealousy. Envy. Self-Piety. Regret. We're all familiar with them.

Their voices are powerful. Making you stop dead in your tracks. Making you question your worth. Making you bound to lies instead of the truths...

The truth.

So what was the Truth in my case? 

Here is the gem: God had never left me nor forsaken me (Hebrews 13:5, Deut. 31: 8)

But, how does this help me at this particular moment? 

It reminds me of God's providence which says all things are from Him, nothing has escaped His attention, and how He works all things for His glory. His allowing certain things to happen was not for the outcome of evil nor does He ever take pleasure in harm. He is a good God and in Him is no darkness. He is love and desires all to come to repentance. (Psalm 107, Romans 8: 28, Ezekiel 18:32, 1 John 1:5, 1 John 4: 7-10)  

My whole life has been in God's care whether I have always acknowledged that or not (Colossians 1:16-17). Where I have been, He was there. Where I go, He'll be there.No thought, word, or deed that I have done surprised Him. All of the days of my life He had already written (Psalm 139).

I must come to see who God is before I can see clearly who I am.

God is not a liar, He makes no mistakes. 

When He created the world and everything in it He declared it "good." (Genesis)

Now there is no mistaking that my and other's sin have screwed up everything. (reference: Genesis and life). 

But I can with these truths now look at my new beautiful, young friend and say to myself:

"Samantha, your life has been and is just as important as hers. Your story and journey was not a mistake, although short-comings have been made. The good, bad, and ugly have made you who you are but you are still God's handiwork (Ephesians 2:10). Your life is beautiful and you are right where you are meant to be-that is with an open posture to the God who loves you. Move forward not to imitate another human, but to conform to the image of Christ Jesus, God's son (Romans 8:29)."

Jealousy says, "I wish I had her life."
The Holy Spirit tells me, "Your life is in Christ (Colossians 3:3), Yahweh has perfecting timing for all things (Ecclesiastes 3), and directs your steps (Proverbs 16)."

Envy says, "I want her characteristics."
The Holy Spirit tells me, "Glorify Yahweh for the good you see is from Him and for Him. Yield to me and you too will see the fruit." (Matthew 5:14-16, John 15, Galatians 5: 22-26)

Self-Piety says, "Woe is me for I am not successful."
The Holy Spirit tells me, "Please Yahweh not man (Ephesians 5:8-10). This is success: to be found rich in Christ (2 Corinthians 8:9). In me, you can do and be these things (2 Peter 1:3)."

Regret says, "I feel terrible for the things I have done."
The Holy Spirit tells me, "Yahweh's grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9). If you confess, He is faithful to forgive and cleanse you (1 John 1:9). Worldly sorrow leads to death, but Godly sorrow leads to life (2 Corinthians 7:10)."  

So there is a lot of self-talk, a lot of listening to the right voices, and a lot of reading to meditate on.

If you are stuck on comparing yourself to others today, I encourage you to hear the voice of Love instead. 

God is love and with His love, you can properly love yourself. For in this love there is no condemnation, but there is a reality check. In this love, there is no fear but rather hope. In this love, there is no envy for you will have a cup that runneth over of peace and joy. (Psalm 23)

Stop Looking For Jesus

Changing Perspectives On Dating

As my Grandmother would say, "Don't get your panties in a bundle." which meant don't freak out. I feel like many of you (Christians) upon reading this post's heading are already thinking, "This is absurd and antithetical to our beliefs." Just hear me out.

Upon my years of participating in youth groups and going to church, I have heard my share of dating sermons. Every year, typically around Valentine's Day, would be the same topics-you know the ones about relationships, courting, marriage, what a single person should be doing, the sacredness of sex, etc.

One year as us girls gabbed about our latest crushes and got on the topic of 'what-we-were-looking-for,' I heard about this thing called the "cupcake analogy." Each part of a "cupcake" represents negotiable or nonnegotiable aspects in a dating partner. For example, a cupcake can have sprinkles on it or it can not. Either way, that doesn't take away from its essence. It only adds. It is not necessary, but it would be fun to have. So for example, one of those things for me would be a guy who has long hair. Not like poney tail long, but at least their ears. I really like hair, but this is not an absolute must for me (although many joke that it is). 

What are some of your "sprinkles"? These could be anywhere from "they are interested in the same music," "they play this specific sport," or "they have a dog."

A cupcake has a specific nature. It has a specific shape. It has certain ingredients. This is what lies underneath the toppings of frosting and sprinkles. This would be your "must-have list." These things could be, "the person must have humility," "they have to have great hygiene," and/or "they must be kind." Obviously in a church setting our must-haves were, "they must be Christian," "they must go to church;" "they must be like Jesus."

There's a great song called "When You Were Young" by The Killers that says:

"You sit there in your heartache

Waiting on some beautiful boy to

To save you from your old ways

You play forgiveness

Watch it now, here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus

But he talks like a gentlemen

Like you imagined

When you were young"

There are many things we were taught in the church that need to be unpacked and reevaluated no doubt. A huge area that needs to be rediscussed is the concept of dating, but as I suggest a change in mindset over this one area I am not saying that we should "throw the baby out with the bathwater." Which is another idiom my Grandmother would say meaning, don't toss out everything.

We need to stop looking for Jesus in our potential partners. My reason is this: there is only one Jesus. Let Jesus be Jesus. Only Jesus, God's Son, can bring wholeness. I say "wholeness," not satisfaction because it is true Jesus is not all you need in this life. You need community. You were created for community. It is not good for anyone to be alone. Know your completeness in Jesus, but know the sharpening of that identity in relationships. 

This is not saying to not look for the "fruit of the Spirit" (Gal. 5: 22-23) in a person. It is saying don't look for perfection. Only Jesus is perfect. This is not saying to lower your standards. It is saying don't expect another person to live a certain way that you yourself don't (again, I am only talking to Believers in this specific post). 

If you are a Christ-follower, look for someone who loves Jesus. However, their expression of that love may look different than yours and that's ok. 

Here are two people from God's Word I have found to be a very admirable and now look for to display my essentials list: 

1.  Stephen (Acts 6: 8-15, 7)-here is someone who allowed the Holy Spirit to move within him in a mighty and powerful way. Through the Spirit, he spoke boldly to his opponents about the Gospel even to the point of death. 
• he was full of grace and power
• did good things for the people
• was wise
• innocent/had a face like an angel
• saw and lived for God's glory
• prayed for his enemies
2.   The One Criminal Crufucied with Jesus (Luke 23: 32-43)-here is someone who was about to die for doing a heinous crime but sticks up for Jesus who was unjustly condemned and mocked.
• he was guilty and admitted he was deserving of the punishment
• noted Jesus did nothing wrong
• asks Jesus to remember him

These are the most attractive men for me in the New Testament. Although vastly different they represent the wide range of 'love' we can have for Jesus. These men allowed faith to lead them. They both knew Jesus was greater. 

What about them stands out for you? 

What men/women in the Bible stick out for you?

How do you allow your boy/girlfriend to love Jesus in their own way? 

What about your dating partner leads you to a closer relationship with Jesus?

Why do you believe that as a Christ-follower it is important to date a Christ-lover other than the fact that the Bible says we should not be "unequally yoked"?

Wrestle with this and share your thoughts below. May you find the one who is only, ever Jesus and may you find a partner/partners who are themselves loving Jesus.