I am not a Christian...

I am not a Christian...when or if or just because:

I am not a Christian when I just go to church on Sunday mornings and believe that there is nothing else that separates me from the world. Matthew 23 : 27-28

I am not a Christian if I just consider a measly four walled (or octagon-shaped) building as the "church". Psalm 139: 7-8

I am not a Christian when I have not actively, on my own, sought out what the Bible says instead of/in addition to just listening to what someone preaches about it. Ezekiel 37: 4-6

I am not a Christian due to the fact that I pray before meals or know that my soul will go to heaven when I die. Matthew 25: 1-12

I am not a Christian if what I say onto others I do not reflect, even behind closed doors. 1 Samuel 16: 7

I am not a Christian if my mouth does not recognize the power and responsibility it has. James 3: 9-12

I am not a Christian just because I do not swear, slander, or conform. Matthew 18: 3

I am not a Christian when I speak of standing up for injustice, but when it "hits too close to home" or would be "too hard" I do nothing. James 1: 27

I am not a Christian if I think this life is all about me, or that I can not change/help better the world in some way. Ephesians 4:11-13

I am not a Christian when I do not hold in high esteem (both psychologically & physically) this body that I have been given. 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

I am not a Christian when I cling to other teachings or philosophies just as much or slightly more than the words of the Holy Bible. Psalms 19: 7-11

I am not a Christian if I countlessly refute other's ways and never my own. Romans 2: 19-23

I am not a Christian just because I have read the whole Bible, front to back, two or more times [or if the only scripture I do know is John 3:16]. 2 Timothy 3: 14-17

I am not a Christian if I do not have a story to tell about how Jesus saved my life personally. John 9:25

I am not a Christian if I do not at least work on understanding what true forgiveness is and am willing to offer that to my offender. Matthew 18: 21-22

Being a Christian means being a Christ-Follower, not a fan. It is about a personal relationship not a religion. Through faith do I believe and the grasp He has on me is never broken.

Matthew 10: 37-39, Romans 6:23, Ephesians 2: 4-9, Romans 8: 38-39

repression

For what it's worth, I've always thought much of you/I face West and you face East, and yet love has never known a closer being as this/...in my mind...so to speak/reaching my hands back to grasp a soul that's so faint/part of my imagination instead...I suppose/I've heard a voice that says a shadow keeps something hidden inside/how do I remember what I thought I've always remembered?/the bruises have long faded and clotted up the blood till the wound was shut/don't you think I'd remember that Offender?/Is there something locked inside that I myself don't have the key to?/love would be simpler if you'd lay next to me when I wake/but dead is faith without deeds.../dead is your escape/I'd rather not keep chasing one that I don't see products of/that smile and your gleam/are they for all to see?/your teasing is explaining your attraction/your eyes hold me locked in one place/I want more of your voice/and all is right, because this is how He made me/isn't it?/those figures of strength have run away just like these diaries/calling upon one as a father never felt so stranger/one is kept silent by his own and another speaks of exasperation due to an adulterer/do you come from the faithful?/is culture making your lips run lose/come here dear, and let me listen to your sweet sweet tones of lumber/I fear that first step/to tell you're all that's on this heart/won't you take  the risk  instead?/in my dream a young man hit his head/a little blow, yet another makes sure the popular are sunk/I fear closeness/let's not label that as emptiness/I've interpreted all of these signs, what is the worth? becomes my conclusion

"I'm always thinking about who I'll get married to."

I heard a guy say this one time a few weeks back and I was blown away. I didn't know guys could be or would be so honest and vulnerable. (Or maybe he was just saying that to get attention, but I'd prefer not to believe so hahaha.)

Today, after some prayer- journalling over some stuff (just the usual yah know) God lead me to Song of Songs 3-4. I love it when God does that, leads me to some scripture that pertains to a specific thing I prayed about! (And some say God is dead, pah!)

These are my devotions, hopefully you can learn something too and engage with me in what you learn.

Song of Songs or Song of Solomon chapters 3-4
Questions I asked:

• Who or what am I looking for-a boyfriend or a husband (if you are a male reading this ask, girlfriend or wife)?

-In my case I've been looking for a boyfriend (hahaha), but I need to be looking for a spouse instead. Why? Because what I'm looking for is not found in someone who's only planning on sticking around for a little while.

• Is it wrong to be looking for a spouse instead?
• Why is it important for you to be looking for a spouse instead?

A couple verses popped out for me as I read,

"All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves;

I looked for him but did not find him.
I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him."
-verses 3:1-2 (emphasis mine)

So, it is not good for me to sit here and ponder what it would be like, or to daydream, or to lust, or to crave about being with "that someone". But like this woman, I should get up and do something about it. *Now, when I say this it does not mean go out and become a tramp. I mean stop being fearful about the future, don't become stagnate, don't just wait for that "fairy tale" to come about. 

 (Also, if you have never watched or heard of Andy Stanley's message "The New Rules of Love, Sex, Dating" go watch it.)

"I will get up now..."

 

• So in these regards of a relationship, am I really meant to be "relentlessly waiting" or am I instead meant to be doing something?
• How about working on being something/someone?
• What am I doing? Who am I? Or how am I? (All in terms of relevance to dating.)

For myself, I listed how I know I am: eager, impatient, confused, scared
And what I am: already treasured, already loved, already beautiful *I am these things because I base who I am through Christ, your definitions may obviously be different. Yet, for those in Christ why shouldn't your focus be on who God says you are?

Next verse,

"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
more than any spice!"

-verses 4:9-10



I absolutely love this! I swear, if a guy says this to me I am set for life! (That is a lie because I've made the same comment to if a guy would sing "Electric Feel" by MGMT to me.)

But anyways, this is simply beautiful. The thing that grasps me soo much about it is the fact that Solomon calls her his sister first. Some might be like, "eww gross. I don't want to call the girl I'm in love with "my sister"." Thing is though, my thoughts went to who we are in Christ. In Christ we are all on body, one family. This bond Solomon shared with his wife began originally out of a bond that of itself could not be broken-that was the commonness of faith. The faith in God to be more precise. And my friends, this is where it NEEDS to start.

From that one word, "sister", I could imagine specific characteristics that Solomon wanted to give.  (F.y.i Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived and that is not a matter of opinion.) Those same characteristics are what I could guess are what the average person is looking for in a relationship:

• someone who's closer than just a friend
• someone who shares equality
• someone worth remembering
• someone to be captivated with

All in all, I was reminded of Andy Stanley's words: "Are you who, who you are looking for is looking for?/ Become who you are looking for."

Those qualities listed are things I would want someone else to present to me or with me; thus, I will become those things.-And just in case your thinking becoming those qualities looks like anything you want them to be, they MUST be in relations to 1 Corinthians 13:4-6:)

• So what hurdles must you jump over now to become or apply these things?