"I'm always thinking about who I'll get married to."

I heard a guy say this one time a few weeks back and I was blown away. I didn't know guys could be or would be so honest and vulnerable. (Or maybe he was just saying that to get attention, but I'd prefer not to believe so hahaha.)

Today, after some prayer- journalling over some stuff (just the usual yah know) God lead me to Song of Songs 3-4. I love it when God does that, leads me to some scripture that pertains to a specific thing I prayed about! (And some say God is dead, pah!)

These are my devotions, hopefully you can learn something too and engage with me in what you learn.

Song of Songs or Song of Solomon chapters 3-4
Questions I asked:

• Who or what am I looking for-a boyfriend or a husband (if you are a male reading this ask, girlfriend or wife)?

-In my case I've been looking for a boyfriend (hahaha), but I need to be looking for a spouse instead. Why? Because what I'm looking for is not found in someone who's only planning on sticking around for a little while.

• Is it wrong to be looking for a spouse instead?
• Why is it important for you to be looking for a spouse instead?

A couple verses popped out for me as I read,

"All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves;

I looked for him but did not find him.
I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him."
-verses 3:1-2 (emphasis mine)

So, it is not good for me to sit here and ponder what it would be like, or to daydream, or to lust, or to crave about being with "that someone". But like this woman, I should get up and do something about it. *Now, when I say this it does not mean go out and become a tramp. I mean stop being fearful about the future, don't become stagnate, don't just wait for that "fairy tale" to come about. 

 (Also, if you have never watched or heard of Andy Stanley's message "The New Rules of Love, Sex, Dating" go watch it.)

"I will get up now..."

 

• So in these regards of a relationship, am I really meant to be "relentlessly waiting" or am I instead meant to be doing something?
• How about working on being something/someone?
• What am I doing? Who am I? Or how am I? (All in terms of relevance to dating.)

For myself, I listed how I know I am: eager, impatient, confused, scared
And what I am: already treasured, already loved, already beautiful *I am these things because I base who I am through Christ, your definitions may obviously be different. Yet, for those in Christ why shouldn't your focus be on who God says you are?

Next verse,

"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
more than any spice!"

-verses 4:9-10



I absolutely love this! I swear, if a guy says this to me I am set for life! (That is a lie because I've made the same comment to if a guy would sing "Electric Feel" by MGMT to me.)

But anyways, this is simply beautiful. The thing that grasps me soo much about it is the fact that Solomon calls her his sister first. Some might be like, "eww gross. I don't want to call the girl I'm in love with "my sister"." Thing is though, my thoughts went to who we are in Christ. In Christ we are all on body, one family. This bond Solomon shared with his wife began originally out of a bond that of itself could not be broken-that was the commonness of faith. The faith in God to be more precise. And my friends, this is where it NEEDS to start.

From that one word, "sister", I could imagine specific characteristics that Solomon wanted to give.  (F.y.i Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived and that is not a matter of opinion.) Those same characteristics are what I could guess are what the average person is looking for in a relationship:

• someone who's closer than just a friend
• someone who shares equality
• someone worth remembering
• someone to be captivated with

All in all, I was reminded of Andy Stanley's words: "Are you who, who you are looking for is looking for?/ Become who you are looking for."

Those qualities listed are things I would want someone else to present to me or with me; thus, I will become those things.-And just in case your thinking becoming those qualities looks like anything you want them to be, they MUST be in relations to 1 Corinthians 13:4-6:)

• So what hurdles must you jump over now to become or apply these things?