it's best at dawn/forever will never be the same

it's best when the dawn shines through the red/when i run my fingers through your hair like I've always dreamt/when you've realized somethings there/your going to give in/and get fat/to open the lid and sniff/memory isn't left to chance/this is intimate, don't tell me it's not/just cause you read it upon the broken screen/in a crowd I feel utterly alone/who's shoes am I in?/because they don't fit/my brother can't even speak my name without surprising this brittle frame/am i awake? no longer can I tell what's real/when my dreams are so vivid/they take me under/i push, pull, and drag/this capsule that I am in is shaking at its core/do you believe a greater force than you can heal what's been broken so many times before?/i must do what I'm told, right?/I must pass with flying colors, right?/BUT THIS ISN'T WHO I AM!/THIS ISN'T WHAT I WAS MADE FOR!/to where to where is the Son of Bethlehem/I HOPE YOU SEE THROUGH THIS FACADE!/I HOPE YOU SEE THE DIRTY ROTTEN ME!/the truth is I've wanted to run away/follow the train tracks/my lungs are awake with anxiety/ oh but my soul is hiding/is it selfishness to tell them I'm not alright?/I'm not okay?/seeing dark figures come upon and call my name/God hasn't shut me out yet/He hasn't shut me down and left me for dead/....although I deserve every bit of it/TO BE BEATEN AND STRIPPED/TO BE SPAT UPON AND WRECKED/...but thing is I am already a wreck/so You took my place instead/ha it's funny how you hold me like a lover/and I still call out for another/time and time again/there is a theme here/from the beginning of time to the end of times/WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!/but a whole lot sooner than when we shut our eyes/In one second He could wipe it away/in one moment You could make it all change

*side note: all poems/songs I write have a sound like La Dispute or MGMT in my head